Last post for a while

First off, I'm 30. yay. Second off, I updated the links towards If for any reason those go dead...well, that's chances are all she wrote at this point.

Long and short? I'm pretty defeated at this point. I've not said anything public due towards my rantings isn't something I felt was something people should -have- to deal with or bare with. As long as I could push content out, that's all that mattered, right?

Well, I ended up failing on that matter, stress getting the better of me, mistakes made, progress on reworks all but lost, time and time again working only showing how dumb this 30 year old really is after all. Can't get a job anymore at this age given I never could score any work experience, and given I went to college, but didn't graduate, that just put a black mark on me that's never gone away. At this point, for me to get anything 'new' out, I would predict it being months from now after the fun that was watching all of my projects revert as if I just made them the day before. Even then, with how poorly done I still was having issues on charater swapping in Q-Bee not causing all sorts of weird crashes, or how poorly handled the menu system for Egg Assault has been where trying to clean that up's just been a bigger mess.

I wanted to do good things. Apparently I'm just fated to struggle at everything and not have much to show for it. So this is me saying sorry, for wasting many of your time and interest. There's far better games being made out there like Lewdest Dugion and Malice and the Machine that have ether been able to show high quality work, or to show progress at the rate people want. I've failed on both accounts.

In earnest I might just such that patreion down too. Even if I get something out months from now, it wouldn't matter. Nothing I've been doing really matters. I'm just some guy who screws up at everything.

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giving up??

After all this time your thinking about giving up? Well I can understand the job issues, no one will hire me either. Mostly due to reasons i don't want to get into here. As for the debugging or whatever its called with your games. Yeah fixing stuff like that takes a lot out of you, and makes you feel stupid when you cant fix or even find the problem! Though you got this far right? Besides making a game is HARD (your making what 3 now) even with an engine. Maybe if you vent a little and focus on one thing at a time (note not just the games) it might help with the stress a little judging from your post you sound overwhelmed, just my guess though. Well good luck lipucid and don't prove yourself right here. Your not as big of a screw-up as you think. look at egg assault. You got how many artists working with you now not an easy thing to do or get started. Now lets look at assault on yakuza mansion err the tyamet game its survived some killers porting over to a new engine sticks out in memory. sorry for building trumps wall o text here but what im trying to say isn't don't give up but trying to say your not dumb and one thing i liked was watching how you refused to give up sorry speaking and pep talks arnt a strong suit of mine....and im going post this to fa in case you miss it here hope you don't get too annoyed with me

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I'm sorry about this.

I loved your games like Egg Assault or Tyamets Chapter.

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This probably doesn't mean much coming from a random internet person, but I liked the work you did manage to put out. I read the ''context'' post and, well... that all sounded pretty awful. I know empty words from some rando on the other side of the world aren't much, but there all I have to offer, so... I wish you the best. Hope you get the break you need at some point.

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I know things are tough, but if helps anything, don't look at what you've done here as a failure. You have plenty of trouble and stress, it's no surprise that it stops you from doing basically anything. You didn't fail anything. I look at these games and I don't see unfinished projects, I see good quality content that got to a quite developed state. You've done a lot, even through all your troubles, and shared it with us.
I'm afraid I'm too far away to be of any actual help. But really man, nothing that's happening with you is your fault. Life's a bitch and it fucks everyone in different ways, we all just gotta look for a way of getting around it. If things are unfinished, or you haven't accomplished your goals yet, you're not a failure. You're still standing, even if barely, and hopeless, you're surviving this. That's a fucking accomplishment. I've seen people give up for less, and if you're still there I know you're better than them.
If to get your life back on track you feel you need to abandon these projects, just do it. Focus on what you need first (just don't forget to keep us posted on what's going on, we genuinely care). And again, you didn't fail, you managed to accomplish a lot here. Thanks for everything, dude.

I've been watching your work for a while, on and off, but I know things can be tough. When things seem there darkest though the light at the end of the tunnel will be all the brighter. Like another commenter said, I'm just a random guy to afraid to show his face, but you shouldn't put yourself down. You may have struggled for most of your life, but your still here! Everyone has a purpose. Weither you believe that purpose was given or created is up to you. Believe in yourself and others will follow.

Failure? I would totally disagree!

Don't be too hard on yourself, the struggle to be self sustaining is a monumental task unto itself, yet alone trying to survive and working on multiple projects at once. I think i understand the situation about a job. I'm a year younger, with a degree in pragmatically useless field, its been almost a year bouncing from gig to gig while applying to a real job on almost a daily basis and just now have gotten a couple of leads. Just like Fishing, it requires a lot of patience, but eventually they do bite.

A while back I got some design advice which has always helped when thinking or completing projects. Never worry about the everyone else's work, comparing oneself to Picasso or Da Vinci right off the bat will discourage your own development. Also, whenever embarking on a new project, KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid), work efficiently with what one already knows, then take small steps into the unknown.

Anyways, if you had to go with a project route, I wonder if it would be good to focus on Egg Assault. It's fun, simple, and solid, from playing it, seems many of the core technical issues are figured out. Finishing that up and having a good solid project completed (Its appears so close) might improve one's mood and maybe feels less scattered afterwards.

But above all else, focus on the important things first, especially yourself, and try not to fixate and stress upon uploading content to the people consuming the work.

This may be super corny and cliche, but there is no true failure as long as we keep trying.


I'm lipucd, maker of RPG Maker hentai games!
( also obsessive over Q-Bee )

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