Being dead would be easier to explain


Where do I even begin with the madness?

Let's start back in July, work our way down.

So, as most of you know, me and Croc where pushing to get done the new Egg Assault update. He cranked out the artwork for me in record time, and for once I was the one slogging along. Reason being was I was starting to have a lot of scripting issues with CP's ordeal, and I wasn't finding much ways to make them stop causing RPG Maker from breaking if you got a game over and reloaded a previous save or start a new game. While this brick wall kept me rather stuck, another friend let me know about the JLPT, or the Japanese-Language Proficiency Test. With that, I could at last get myself a job. Maybe. I've been running into enough dead ends job hunting as it is that something like that was a fucking light at the end of the tunnel.

SO, my hours last month was deliberating on scripts with who I could to try to solve this crashing issue at last, and maybe refine CP's scripts a bit more, while working with my Japanese friends on my, well, Japanese. I registered for the N3 level of the JLPT ( partly because the N4 wouldn't get me anything better then a teacher, and the N2 was WAY too technical to think about at my level of understanding. ). Perhaps I bit off more then I could chew, rather no, I did. By the end of August I was already becoming something of a mental wreck trying to cram years worth of Japanese into 4 months of study as I stated to fear for the worse on concepts and areas they would test me on. All the while I'm making even LESS progress with the scripting and my PC starts to have random Blue screens here and there.

I didn't think about the bluescreens, beyond letting friends know why I suddenly ended up offline randomly. I already had enough stress as it was, the PC ending up frizzing out one way or another was the last of my issues. Sadly it would be the last of my issues. Come October, PC at last dies. The RAM ports itself had started to go bad, and before I knew it the entire ordeal left me with only a single valid port left to work off of a 1GB DDR2 card. I figured "Well, I can at least still work on the game stuff and the like, let me just pop up the BIOS and have it do a quick scan thought on my parts"...that's when the worse happened. Doing the scan, PC just goes kaput. Try to reboot, only fans and nothing more. Total motherboard failure.

...At this point, I got a bit insane, loony, almost nearly killed myself. Thankfully Kirisha caught me while I was on skype via my backup laptop, and was able to send me enough cash to get a new one, no questions asked. I start to cheer up a bit, I recalled I had made the necessary back ups and move around way before this ordeal even happened, so all the game stuff was still safe and sound and accessible. I order a new tower ( from a phentom x4 1.8GHz -> i5 3.4GHz, DR2 -> DDR3, Vista -> Win7, and from 4 USB -> 8 ) wait for it to arrive...and it arrives as a dud. It too had a motherboard issue right out the door and I had to spend cash to ship it back.

So, where do we stand now? Me on this:shitty laptop
This thing bluescreens on youtube for crying out loud. There is SOME good news to come out of all this maddness thought, if anything.

1) I'm not dead, none of the projects are dead, everything is alive (well thought is subjective).
2) A recent Japanese friend of mine who developed QUITE the interesting RPG, gave me access towards the scripts they used for their projects. I can't really fiddle around too much with them currently, but overall this should be a far better boon then CP's ordeal has been for me thus far ( including that was becoming one step forward but two back... ).
3) Once I DO get my PC, it'll be a far better PC in turn. ( thought honestly if this laptop had more RAM, even this could be used for working on RPG Maker stuff beyond 2000/2003. As it stands thought booting Steam + RPG Maker ends up stressing this thing out by a lot for any extended amount of time. )
4) The translation stuff for mo2 is more or less done, and just needs a few people to check it over before I give it towards him, and an English DLSite release of Heroine Hunting can be in the near future.

That about sums everything up though. I wouldn't hold it over people for being tired of the delays, or the fact that I said it would be out by a time, and yet here we are and I don't have anything substantial to show for it. This last few months I've been fighting with my own self anyway to try to be useful, to be able to stand on my own two feet and not just work off of everyone else work in turn. I had hoped being able to fix CP's scripts would prove I could do that, that I could be useful by my own merits...but that ended up blowing up in my face harder then anything else, and really only made me feel more useless in turn. Add onto that the PC dying, and the stress over the JLPT, and well, I guess it was my own self made disaster. But I'm tired of not having a job nor able to get one for different reasons, and I'm tired of feeling like I'm chop liver or a leech who's going to be stuck depending on everyone for the rest of his life. I made a mistake thought in the process to fix that, so I gotta live with it and go on. As it stands, the new PC's not due back till the start of next month, so nothing's really going to happen till then.

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I believe in you, man. These games you make are great and I'm sure you can get even better, so please don't give up.
Your games are not only well made, but also inspiring. They encourage other people to work harder on their own projects (even I tried to develop something on rpg didn't turn out well, but I had fun making it).
To me, everytime you post an update telling us all that you're alive is a victory, you're getting back up even after being through all that stuff. Honestly, you're awesome.
By the way, if you need any help you can count on me. Though I can't give much in terms of cash, I'm good with artwork (not even close to any of the big guys level), so if you need anything just ask.

Good to hear you're still alive.

Best wishes, man. Take care of yourself.

If you need any help with RPG Maker stuff, just say so. I'm sure there's others here who would love to help out, even if it's menial stuff like database entry or room creation.

Re: No title

If you ever want to do me a good favor and a pick me up? Doodle up some lewd/porn/cute Q-Bee towards some degree. Maybe around the context of the games, or just something you whipped up. If it's Q-Bee thought I can assure you that'll put a smile on my face and make the hard days not so hard.

I wish it was JUST the simple stuff I was having issues with. It's not so much the database or common script logic that strings me up ( rather that's the parts I can get done without a hassle ). It's more the RGSS3/Ruby scripting that makes the entire thing tick. CP a while back did an entire scripting system my games run off of in turn.'s nether the most solid, nor dependable scripts around, but it was doing what I wanted, needed them TO do to get the results I wanted. Sadly CP's been unresponsive for over a year, and trying to take his work and cobble up a more working version has caused more problems then ever solved. Part of me kicks myself for not just rolling with it, laughing off that the game's going to crash after game overs and the like, but part of me REALLY wasn't happy with that ether and found it really shallow of me to just accept that as 'quality work'. The last 7...8 months have been me headbanging on this hoping to fix it's flaws, but all I did was break my skull and the wall's not even got a crack to show for it...pretty foolish huh?

He is the No Man!

We've all been at the breaking point, it's good to see that you looked that angry crocodile in the mouth and said "KISS MY BEEP!" I look forward to your next update to your works of art.

Keep going! Don't stop doing what you love!

Also the 9600 and 9700's have a lot of issues, if you down grade to an earlier driver build it should resolve your issues. If you need help, just keep posting information i'm sure some one here is more technically savvy then No Man.

No title

I can easily understand how something like this might be highly depressing, loosing ones computer only to have the new one refuse to boot SUCKS, been there myself about a year ago and had to spend 3 months virtually tuck with a mobile phone's internet, not fun.

I say take the time you need to relax a bit, by the sound of it you have been stressing out WAY too much over the last few months, in fact I would ORDER you to do that if I could, becoming stressed on top of all the bad luck you've had so far would be really bad for you both physically and mentally, so take your time to unwind, we are an understanding bunch and we can wait for the next updates, this is supposed to be something you do because you WANT to not because you have to, so take the time you need to relax while waiting for the PC and come back better than ever when you don't have so many different things you have to do all at once.

You've got our full support

Hey there!

Just a little message to cheer you up here saying not to worry too much about what you promised and planned to do around here.
Most of us are Lurkers, which means we won't give you anything for what you do.
However, that doesn't mean we don't appreciate it. The games you've made are some of the best i've seen in the free RPG maker style. And I'm not only talking about the fapping part ;) Even the story seems promising and the way you handled combat mechanics let's us do whatever we want (if you know what I mean).

What I meant to say is, just live your life before trying to make this site progress. Keep in touch every now and then just to tell us whether you plan on stopping or not but if you need a job then take a hiatus, focus on one thing at a time and come back when you've got time.

And if you really need help, you can always ask for donations. I'm sure a lot of us will gladly help you out. Wouldn't want one of the best to leave the game so early now would we ;)

Thanks everyone!

Man count me as a loss for words here.

@The No Man
The video card's pretty touchy yeah, and sadly with how this Windows XP install is, I can't go messing around with drivers TOO much, or I risk this thing dying on me next ( and without a backup disk to reinstall from too! ). It'll be something to look into though once I get a working PC again thought, and then don't have to worry about this going kaput on me!

I chances are will! I...sadly can't drop the Japanese studying. I paid $60 bucks for that test, and it only happens once a year to boot. I can't say I'm in a spot ATM where not having some sort of extra funds coming in is viable, so it's kinda 'do or die'. I'll chances are take it easier on the game dev stuff though in turn.

@Lurker Lover
I'll try to do better with keeping in touch!...I keep saying that yet I seem to keep failing at that too! ='D I'm glad such has ended up so inspirational though! On the money bit...I'm not one to ask unless it's 100% dire or there's no other option. If you can donate, then please, by all means, donate! The paypal button's still there and still as valid as it's been in the past, and the last donations I've gotten, including last month, where big boons for us to cover bills that had creep up to high. Thought I'm still ageist using things like Patron and the like, just out of the feeling that payment then starts to feel 'forced' on both party's. You're forced to pay me, and now I'm forced to do things and to go out of my original goal in mind to make those payments worthwhile. It's not something I would ever ask someone else to do for me, and I can't quite say that's a situation I would feel too comfortable with, including with the last few months in tow. So if you ever see me struggling in the money department, or want to help ease off the passive stress, sending funds is always welcomed! In the few cases where it's NOT going to pay bills and the like, it does do things like commission croc or other artist for stuff, mostly for the games in tow. A few people like CasterMK/unnoticeableperson ( ) have even shot me willingness to work on some material...if I was willing to pay them such and such an amount. I've though about it in the past, pretty much fundraiser to get one of them on board, but I've not presented such publicly for the very reasons I went into. No use getting artist if the games got issues beyond the artwork.

No title

Good luck man, hope everything turns out better in the end.

its okay dood

dont worry dood we can wait just do what you want and will support you, as long as your happy doing it dood ^^

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Happy to see your alive

Thanks for the masive update man im glade to see ur not dead. but your computer burning is unfortunate but dont worry sir as long as u tell us ur alive and well we have no need to fear Keep working trooper


Well the pc burning out is a real bummer. But im really glad you made a post. As others stated, a just once in awhile is nice, even if you can only say no progress is made, it still shows us your here.

*background cheering*

Belated sorry to hear about the computer death. At least there is that Hope that a working computer is going to be on its way. Would like to echo the suggestion towards some sort of regular updates, even if it is "Ok, a month has passed, I'm still working on stuff, nothing new to share yet." so that people know you're still among us.

No title

I believe in you and hey I still want to help you and Croc complete this. I'm rooting for you and hey, i've been learning some RPG maker stuff in my spare time.

If you ever need money, don't be afraid to ask for help.

I almost find it funny that its almost December. Christmas edition anyone? Where the badniks cocoon folks in stocking stuffers? :3



I'm lipucd, maker of RPG Maker hentai games!
( also obsessive over Q-Bee )

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