Being dead would be easier to explain


Where do I even begin with the madness?

Let's start back in July, work our way down.

So, as most of you know, me and Croc where pushing to get done the new Egg Assault update. He cranked out the artwork for me in record time, and for once I was the one slogging along. Reason being was I was starting to have a lot of scripting issues with CP's ordeal, and I wasn't finding much ways to make them stop causing RPG Maker from breaking if you got a game over and reloaded a previous save or start a new game. While this brick wall kept me rather stuck, another friend let me know about the JLPT, or the Japanese-Language Proficiency Test. With that, I could at last get myself a job. Maybe. I've been running into enough dead ends job hunting as it is that something like that was a fucking light at the end of the tunnel.

SO, my hours last month was deliberating on scripts with who I could to try to solve this crashing issue at last, and maybe refine CP's scripts a bit more, while working with my Japanese friends on my, well, Japanese. I registered for the N3 level of the JLPT ( partly because the N4 wouldn't get me anything better then a teacher, and the N2 was WAY too technical to think about at my level of understanding. ). Perhaps I bit off more then I could chew, rather no, I did. By the end of August I was already becoming something of a mental wreck trying to cram years worth of Japanese into 4 months of study as I stated to fear for the worse on concepts and areas they would test me on. All the while I'm making even LESS progress with the scripting and my PC starts to have random Blue screens here and there.

I didn't think about the bluescreens, beyond letting friends know why I suddenly ended up offline randomly. I already had enough stress as it was, the PC ending up frizzing out one way or another was the last of my issues. Sadly it would be the last of my issues. Come October, PC at last dies. The RAM ports itself had started to go bad, and before I knew it the entire ordeal left me with only a single valid port left to work off of a 1GB DDR2 card. I figured "Well, I can at least still work on the game stuff and the like, let me just pop up the BIOS and have it do a quick scan thought on my parts"...that's when the worse happened. Doing the scan, PC just goes kaput. Try to reboot, only fans and nothing more. Total motherboard failure.

...At this point, I got a bit insane, loony, almost nearly killed myself. Thankfully Kirisha caught me while I was on skype via my backup laptop, and was able to send me enough cash to get a new one, no questions asked. I start to cheer up a bit, I recalled I had made the necessary back ups and move around way before this ordeal even happened, so all the game stuff was still safe and sound and accessible. I order a new tower ( from a phentom x4 1.8GHz -> i5 3.4GHz, DR2 -> DDR3, Vista -> Win7, and from 4 USB -> 8 ) wait for it to arrive...and it arrives as a dud. It too had a motherboard issue right out the door and I had to spend cash to ship it back.

So, where do we stand now? Me on this:shitty laptop
This thing bluescreens on youtube for crying out loud. There is SOME good news to come out of all this maddness thought, if anything.

1) I'm not dead, none of the projects are dead, everything is alive (well thought is subjective).
2) A recent Japanese friend of mine who developed QUITE the interesting RPG, gave me access towards the scripts they used for their projects. I can't really fiddle around too much with them currently, but overall this should be a far better boon then CP's ordeal has been for me thus far ( including that was becoming one step forward but two back... ).
3) Once I DO get my PC, it'll be a far better PC in turn. ( thought honestly if this laptop had more RAM, even this could be used for working on RPG Maker stuff beyond 2000/2003. As it stands thought booting Steam + RPG Maker ends up stressing this thing out by a lot for any extended amount of time. )
4) The translation stuff for mo2 is more or less done, and just needs a few people to check it over before I give it towards him, and an English DLSite release of Heroine Hunting can be in the near future.

That about sums everything up though. I wouldn't hold it over people for being tired of the delays, or the fact that I said it would be out by a time, and yet here we are and I don't have anything substantial to show for it. This last few months I've been fighting with my own self anyway to try to be useful, to be able to stand on my own two feet and not just work off of everyone else work in turn. I had hoped being able to fix CP's scripts would prove I could do that, that I could be useful by my own merits...but that ended up blowing up in my face harder then anything else, and really only made me feel more useless in turn. Add onto that the PC dying, and the stress over the JLPT, and well, I guess it was my own self made disaster. But I'm tired of not having a job nor able to get one for different reasons, and I'm tired of feeling like I'm chop liver or a leech who's going to be stuck depending on everyone for the rest of his life. I made a mistake thought in the process to fix that, so I gotta live with it and go on. As it stands, the new PC's not due back till the start of next month, so nothing's really going to happen till then.


I'm lipucd, maker of RPG Maker hentai games!
( also obsessive over Q-Bee )

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